Thoughts on Grief

“I have been daily grateful for the friend who remarked that grief isolates. He did not mean only that I, grieving, am isolated from you, happy. He meant also that shared grief isolates the sharers from each other though united in that we are grieving, we grieve differently. As each death has it’s own character, so too each grief over a death has it’s own character, it’s own escape. The dynamics of each persons sorrow must be allowed to work themselves out without judgment. I may find it strange that you should be tearful today but dry eyed yesterday when my tears were yesterday. But my sorrow is not your sorrow. There’s something more . . . I must struggle so hard to regain life that I cannot reach out to you. nor you to me. The one not grieving must touch us both. It’s when people are happy that they say, ‘Let’s get together.’ ”

Nicholas Wolterstorff, Lament for a Son


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